Let them know you’re here for them—no matter what
Sex, alcohol, drugs . . . These are subjects many adults would just as soon not discuss with young people. But if parents and other caring adults don’t step up and talk to young people about these things, who will? Make it easy for young people to come to you and talk about the temptations in their lives. Avoid judging. Listen, and educate. Restraint is Asset 31 of Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible.
Here are the facts
Research shows that young people who refrain from sexual activity and the use of alcohol and other drugs are more likely to grow up healthy. About 47 percent of young people, ages 11–18, believe it’s important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs, according to Search Institute surveys. These young people are less likely to use vape products, fight, steal, or feel depressed. Further, drinking and driving or riding in a car with someone who’s been drinking are also less likely to happen when young people practice restraint.
Tips for building this asset
Communicating with young people about the risks of sex, alcohol, or other drugs is important—but how we frame the conversation matters. Labeling behaviors as “bad” isn’t always effective. Instead, focus on real-life impacts and how choices today can either support or interfere with what they want for their future. Talk with them about consequences in a way that connects to their goals: having sex can lead to pregnancy or disease; using alcohol or other drugs can impair judgment and increase the risk of serious or even fatal accidents; substance use can also affect the developing teenage brain, impacting memory, motivation, and mental health. Let them know that choosing to wait or say no isn’t about missing out—it’s about staying in control of their future. And if they do make a mistake or find themselves in a difficult situation, make sure they know they can come to you without fear of judgment. Being a trusted, safe adult is one of the most powerful protective factors you can offer.
Also try this
- In your home and family: Look for opportunities to respond to messages in the media about sexuality and use of alcohol and other drugs. Discuss your reaction and ask for your child’s opinion.
- In your neighborhood and community: Keep everyone accountable! Make a pact with your neighbors not to allow alcohol at parties for young people—and to report to other parents if you hear of or see young people using alcohol, vapes, or other drugs.
Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit https://searchinstitute.org/resources-hub/developmental-assets-framework.
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2017 Developmental Assets® are positive factors within young people, families, communities, schools, and other settings that research has found to be important in promoting the healthy development of young people.