The 40 Developmental Assets: Asset 33: Interpersonal Competence
Learning to walk in other people’s shoes
Most young people know how to make friends. They notice when something bad happens to a friend, and when someone is acting differently. Empathy—one of the most important social and emotional skills—doesn’t come naturally to everyone. In fact, learning to walk in another’s shoes is tricky for many adults. After all, some people are easier to read and understand than others. Young people who strive to understand their own needs and feelings and know how to appropriately express them are more likely to respect the needs and feelings of others. Interpersonal Competence is Asset 33 of Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible.
Here are the facts
Research shows that young people who have empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills are more likely to grow up healthy and avoid risky behaviors, such as violence and alcohol and other drug use. About 48 percent of young people, ages 11–18, say they have empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. Family is the cornerstone of most young people’s lives, but everyone needs friends, too.
Tips for building this asset in Today’s World
“Interpersonal competence” may sound like a complicated term, but it really comes down to something essential: helping young people build healthy relationships, communicate effectively, and navigate emotions in real life and online. Young people today are growing up in a world of group chats, social media, texting, gaming platforms, and constant digital communication. While technology helps people stay connected, it can also make it harder to read tone, body language, emotions, and social cues. That’s why strong interpersonal skills matter more than ever.
Parents and other caring adults can help by modeling and teaching skills like:
- Listening without interrupting
- Handling disagreements respectfully
- Knowing when to step away from drama, conflict, or unhealthy relationships
- Communicating appropriately both online and face-to-face
Encourage young people to pause and think before reacting—especially online where words and messages can spread quickly and be misunderstood. Help them understand that healthy communication includes not only what they say, but how they say it. Building interpersonal skills is a lifelong process, and mistakes are part of learning. Every friendship, team activity, classroom interaction, workplace experience, and family relationship gives young people an opportunity to grow in confidence, empathy, and emotional awareness.
Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit https://searchinstitute.org/resources-hub/developmental-assets-framework.
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2017 Developmental Assets® are positive factors within young people, families, communities, schools, and other settings that research has found to be important in promoting the healthy development of young people.