By Terri Mielitz, East-Central – CASA
Joel Osteen is notorious for his story telling. I was listening to him the other day and he told a story of a woman who always cut the ends off the ham before she baked it. Her husband asked her, “Why do you cut the ends off the ham?” She told him because my mother did and she made the best ham in the world. The husband called the mother and asked her the same question. She said, “My mother always did it and she made the best ham in the world.” So, the husband called her mother and asked her. She said because her pan was too small.
I tell you this story because this is so true for all of us but in the sense of mental health, addiction and abuse. We never question why our family did what they did. Many times, there is no good reason and even though it feels ok, it is not. The ladies in the story added a reason to the ends being cut off the ham that made sense to them and gave them a story. Something attached to the emotion and feelings toward their mother. Never questioning the reasons, we stick with traditions, some good, some bad. Abuse is that way. We do not educate ourselves and change these traditions and the cycles of abuse continue. Just like not questioning the ham. We did not know why we did it, we just did it.
Do not follow the old traditions just because. Find the reason for them.
We tend to want people around us that think like us and make us feel good about ourselves. We like people to agree with our beliefs, values and traditions.